No One Is More Distraught About The Honey Smacks Salmonella Outbreak Than Boosie Badazz

(People) – The CDC and the FDA have issued a stern warning against eating Kellogg’s Honey Smacks, regardless of the size of the box or the date you bought it.

On June 14, Kellogg’s voluntarily recalled boxes of the cereal within a certain “best by” date range after they were linked to a salmonella outbreak. Now, government agencies are broadening the list of potentially contaminated boxes. “The FDA is advising consumers to not eat and to discard any Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal,” they wrote in an update on their website. “The recall notice accounts for all of the product that is on the market within the cereal’s estimated one year shelf-life. However, Honey Smacks products with earlier dates could also potentially be contaminated.”

I’ve been avoiding this devastating news since it dropped but the time is now to break my silence. If you’ve ever listened to Mickstape, or have noticed that my body is shaped like the top two rungs of a snowman placed atop two toothpicks, then you know that I am a big time cereal fan. The sugarier the better. And while Honey Smacks are a divisive cereal typically not found in one’s top five or even ten, they are one of my favorites, as I’ve fond memories of Dig ‘Em the Frog gracing my kitchen table since back when they were called Sugar Smacks. So this salmonella outbreak was truly a kick to the twig and berries for yours truly.

And when the news broke, I felt alone. That this was one of the times I truly felt the protagonist of reality as most people were getting off jokes and mocking the cereal as garbage. It was as if this news was only out there to slight me. A cloud of depression hung above my head, following me from Queens to Manhattan and back on the daily. But then it happened: an ally appeared during my darkest hour.

B-O-O-S-I-E B-A-D-A-Z-Z appeared out of nowhere, not only as a friend in a time of need, but as a man twice – if not thrice – as distraught as I upon hearing the news of our pal Dig ‘Em. I had already moved on to the acceptance stage while he remained firmly in the denial. “Fuck that. I need a scientist to DM me some proof. If Honey Smacks got salmonella then I’m fulla salmonella.” And he’s exactly right. In the fake news era of today, who is to say this isn’t a ploy by Big Cereal to try and rip Honey Smacks off the shelves with no rhyme or reason? Certainly not I, as I’ve no proof that they were ever really contaminated in the first place. Maybe they actually CURE salmonella and Big Pharma doesn’t want too many healthy folks wandering around out there sans medication. All I know is Boosie has opened my eyes to a whole world of questions that demand answers and I wont stop fighting along side my cereal comrade until justice is brought to the forefront and served with 2% milk. #FreeDigEm

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